Red and Blue

Isn't this sign fabulous?

via Modern Hepburn

Tuesday Poetry Post

Mindful
By Mary Oliver

Every day
   I see or hear
      something
         that more or less

kills me
   with delight,
      that leaves me
         like a needle

in the haystack
   of light.
      It was what I was born for—
         to look, to listen,

to lose myself
   inside this soft world—
      to instruct myself
         over and over

in joy,
   and acclamation.
      Nor am I talking
         about the exceptional,

the fearful, the dreadful,
   the very extravagant—
      but of the ordinary,
         the common, the very drab,

the daily presentations.
   Oh, good scholar,
      I say to myself,
         how can you help

but grow wise
   with such teachings
      as these—
         the untrimmable light

of the world,
   the ocean’s shine,
      the prayers that are made
         out of grass?

A Captive Audience

She's my little rock star.

Greek Town

It started off brutally slow but kicked up in the evening.  My family really does amaze me.  David and my brother Tony are helping me this weekend.  It cannot be too much fun for them, spending their weekend selling women's jewelry at a street fair.  The support they give me makes me feel like the luckiest gal in the world.  Then there's my daughter, aka Miss Chill, who just hangs all sweet and content in her sling, taking it all in.  I got a surprise visit from my friends Seeley and Peter, and Mr. Cardone, who is a father to 10 which totally blows my mind.  Seeing the smile on his face while he held Shine just about made the day perfect. 

Taste of Greece

It's going to be a gorgeous weekend in Chicago!  Come stop by the Charm Bar in Greek Town for Taste of Greece and say hi to my brother and me! 

Daddy is Home From Work

Friday Music Muse

Mary Gauthier was left at an orphanage by her unwed mother as an infant and eventually was adopted, but has had a lot of ups and downs throughout her life.  This entire gut wrenching album, called The Foundling, is about being abandoned and searching for her birth mother.  I suggest having a big box of tissues by your side if you listen to it. 

Mama Here, Mama Gone

Bassinets and babies
St. Vincent's Infants Home
Orphaned in limbo
Helpless and alone
Paradise receding
Paradise withdrawn
A tiny heart is beating

Mama here
Mama gone
Mama gone

Cut loose and falling
Thru the crevasse cradle crack
Rock a bye baby
Mama ain't coming back
This night has no ending
This darkness no dawn
Descending, descending

Mama here
Mama gone
Mama gone

Day and nights of falling
Thru darkness without dawn
Baby's arms quit reaching

Mama here, Mama gone
Mama here, Mama gone

Taste of Greece

Hey Chicagoans!  Stop by Taste of Greece this weekend in Greek Town (100-400 South Halsted) and check out my booth!  I'll have my charm bar set up along with several other of my hand sewn necklaces.  The festival takes place Saturday and Sunday from noon-11pm, but I'll just be there until 7pm, since my sweet daughter still is refusing the bottle and I must put her to bed!

*image from here

Underlined: Buddhism for Mothers by Sarah Napthali

This line made me weep and weep.  I'm trying so hard to live in the moment, thanks to this incredible book my sister-in-law gave me.  I have a huge stack of baby/parenting books, and this book has helped more than any other because it truly does cover everything you need to know.  No, it does not contain strategies to get your baby to sleep, or how to get a good latch on, or what to do with a fussy baby, it's more so a strategy for living, which indirectly covers all those topics.

Could there be any better way to get my nose rubbed in the truth of impermanence than to love a child in a jagged, careless world?...And even if everything goes absolutely perfectly, I know that this particular Skye--the one who warbles and passionately sucks on the bill of his rubber duck as he splashes with me in the tub--is going to dissolve like bubble bath.  Yesterday he was a kicking bulge in my belly as I swam laps in the July sun; tomorrow he'll be a middle-aged man, weeping and scattering my ashes in a mountain lake. p 148  (This excerpt was actually written by Anne Cushman but was quoted in this book)

*image from here

Sliding Down the Rainbow of my Childhood Dreams...

This was the view outside my balcony yesterday.  The camera got a bit wet while shooting but I say it was well worth it.

Tuesday Poetry Post

Far Apart
by Xavier

Hands unsure of where to
tuck themselves
Whether the infantile cover
of a broken atlas mouth
or the steady conjugation of pockets.

The ecstacy of fidgeting
underneath a desk.
Picking off the scabs on my knuckles
and waiting for the clot
to pick off again.

The impossible height of adults
washed my peccant hands
with the pump pink soap
that smelled so sanitary
it almost smelled like vomit

"Look at me when I'm talking to you"
said the mountain to discomfort.
The unlatched velcro of my scuffed shoes
urges me not to cry
and start hyperventilating

but then my face is wet and
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry"
and the rest eats itself.

These habits are worn like a habit
of mud
weighing down the
covered bridge of my clavicle.

Incanting symptoms
through the cues in my breath,
passing for shy or soft spoken
but these autistic hands,
unsubtle and sure of their mistakes,
give me away

And if you asked me
I'd tell you it happened
while I slept.

*image from here

Our last day in New York included:
1.  pizza somewhere on Bleecker
2.  loads of walking and baby wearing
3. afternoon dessert and cappuccino at Tartine with my little lady
4.  a bit more time in Soho
5.  dinner with friends in Midtown
6. taking advantage of Summer Streets with a morning run up Park Ave with no cars!  (It felt like a road race, which felt like the old me in a good way)

The flight home was a dream even though it could have been a disaster.  Scary cab ride to airport, flight delayed two hours, but I kept my cool.  Five years ago I would have lost my s#%! over a delayed flight.  Now, when it should be harder with a little baby, it wasn't.  I don't want her to be feeding off my negative energy.  I just kept my cool, lived in the moment, and thought to myself hey, I'm with my husband and my baby is in my arms.  We are safe, we are happy, and that is all that matters.  Shine nursed/slept in the sling the entire flight.  New York, you were good to me.  

Underlined: A Room of One's Own by Virginia Woolf

"Beadle though you are, to turn me off the grass.  Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind."  p. 82

*image from here

The West Village

Today was packed with fun.  Shine and I went over to MOMA and took in a lot of art.  Then we walked over to Central Park and relaxed on a bench for a while.  I've been wearing Shine this whole trip and my back needs a break ever hour or so.  The next stop was the Museum of Art and Design where I spotted three of my rings in the museum gift shop!  (They bought a ton of my rings a few years ago).  I was so excited and shocked to see them there.  I just stared at them for a long time with a huge smile on my face and I wanted to point and yell, "I MADE THESE" to everyone in the shop, but I played it cool.  It felt a bit like seeing an old friend.  In a display case.

Once David got off work we headed over to the West Village and had the most lovely dinner at the Little Owl.  (The meatball sliders were heavenly.)  Then we walked over to Bleecker Street and stopped by Cafe Angelique and stuffed our faces with the most decadent desserts and cappuccinos.  Shine ended the night in the arms of Joanna Goddard (from my favorite blog Cup of Jo!)   I spotted her and her husband standing on the corner, and I had a bit of an out of body experience because I'm a very shy person around people I don't know, but somehow I walked over and introduced myself and told her how much I liked her blog without sounding too creepy (I hope) and we talked a while and she was so so lovely and kind and incredibly sweet with Shine and asked to hold her, which was the cutest thing in the world.  David was still inside paying the bill, so he walked over with a "Who is this holding our baby?" look on his face.  What a night.  It was the perfect New York experience! 

 


 

City Exchange

This trip has been pretty amazing so far.  Baby girl was a dream on the plane and she went to sleep on her own last night and slept 11 hours straight without one peep!!!  I think she's like momma and feels at home in New York.  Today included:
A scallion cream cheese bagel, lunch with daddy, (he's here for work and we just tagged along), a walk through midtown, Stumptown Coffee followed by some chilling at the Ace Hotel's lobby, Washington Square Park stroll, New Museum exhibition, shopping in Soho and then we met David for dinner in Little Italy.  Can't wait for tomorrow!

Guest Blogger

This week I have a guest blogger standing in for me, sort of.  New York City, that's right, she'll be filling in for me while I visit museums, eat loads of pizza and walk around this gorgeous land with my baby strapped to me.  I'm so excited!!!

*photo by gregory

Less is More

I think I need one of these pencil holders for my desk.  (designed by Less is More)

Underlined: The Dirty Life by Kristin Kimball

My mom suggested this book to me.  I loved it for many reasons.  I used to always say, "I just want to get out of the city and live on a farm and grow my own food and live the simple life."  To this, the author would say, you want a garden.  This book uncovers the romanticism behind living off the land.  Farming is incredibly difficult work, which is no secret, but it seems that with the thousands of acres of land that have been sold off and turned into suburbs, many people have this romantic idea about farming.  And while it is beautiful and lovely, it is also very difficult and draining hard work.

My youngest brother has worked on several different farms over the past few years.  A vineyard in Vermont, vegetable farms in Portland, a dairy in Vermont, and now a farm in Illinois.  That kid is an incredibly hard worker.  I was reading this book when I went to stay with my parents, and made a visit to the farm he works at.  It was fun to see him and his girlfriend come home in the evening, covered in dirt and sweat, holding loads of greens they grew.  They would go straight to their garden here, work a bit more, and then cook dinner with the food they have been growing. 

Each night I would go up to the dark room in the log cabin where my baby was sleeping, turn on my book light and read about The Dirty Life while my farmer brother was sleeping across the hall and waking up early to tend to the earth.
The line I liked most from this book was the very last line, so this is a spoiler alert for those of you who may read it.  It gives nothing away, but I know some people, including myself, find the last line of a book a bit sacred, and I don't want to spoil anything for anyone.

Unknown outpaces known like to do outpaces done.  These acres are a world.  What answers has the ground offered?  Only the notion that there are answers.  Underlying soil is bedrock, and if you dig deep enough, you'll hit it.  That's the closest I've come to surety, and it is enough for me.

*image from here